The games that cause me an excessive amount of Rage
Ever been sitting playing a game, minding your own business, perhaps you are making some new bruises in your nemesis on street fighter? Or loading some Elites with lead on Halo? Maybe even getting the jump on someone on the other team on COD with some crazy SMG skills? And then suddenly, out of nowhere. ULTRA COMBO. Seth turns your health bar into fond memories of being alive. HEADSHOT. Some jerk takes you out with a sniper from half-way across the map for the millionth time. BOOM. A claymore motion sensitive explosive shoves your boots so far up your nostrils your brain explodes.
pwn'd
The red mist descends.
The grip on the controller tightens.
Your face screws up into one of rage and all too well-known anger.
A variety of things can happen next.
A. You scream something colourful at the console of your choice, claiming that it is a useless piece of 'rubbish' to put it nicely and hurl the controller and the nearest thing soft enough not to break it. Storm off to have a good sulk stopping only briefly to rather aggressively turn off the console, more often than not, mid-game.
B. You launch into a verbal assault of the person (or object) you believe to be responsible, this may be a previously beloved friend or family member you are playing split-screen with, or perhaps just a particularly talented eleven year-old German boy who you met ten seconds ago on the internet that hasn't a single idea what you are screaming at him.
C. You do something you REALLY regret. In the most extreme circumstances you resort to physical abuse, in desperation you lob a heavy plastic controller straight through your brand new flat screen television, and proceed to rip your console out of the wall and toss it, like an extensively trained Olympian, through the nearest window, regardless of the window's state of open-ness. If you are still 'peeved' you could punch the nearest sibling or wall, but honestly at this stage I don't think it will help.
So which games induce the most Rage?
Each of these games represent one of my five personal reasons for flipping out over a game, lets start with;
Street Fighter
A game that featured in my top ten list is one of my all time rage games. It represents those games that seem impossible, the enemies are too hard or the game is too fast, or the characters are too over/under-powered.
Furthermore, the rate at which the game can change is so phenomenal in street fighter, it is bound to incite rage in even the calmest of players. You can go from easily having full health to being millimeters away from death just because you missed one vital block.
As soon as the animation for your enemies ULTRA COMBO starts and you know there is no possible way of avoiding the brutal beating in store for you, the controller is out the window, there is a footprint in your T.V and and you are out the door swearing you will never play the stupid game ever again.
(Top: 'Adon' kneeing 'Sagat' in the face in what promises to be an annoying ultra-finish made only worse by the fact that 'Adon' is probably screeching something incredibly annoying. Second from top: 'Balrog' finishes off 'Juri' with his staple (and by 'staple' I mean 'only') move, running away and then lunging forward to punch you in the face.
Second from bottom: 'Fei Long' connects the sole of his plimsolls to the underside of 'Gouken's (I think) face in an over-theatrical ultra-combo that easily tips the scales towards 'Fei Long' and has the result of lodging a controller in televisions everywhere.
Bottom: 'Akuma' about to embark on the single-most annoying move ever envisioned by any game ever, he waves his hands about like dying bird and then sweeps across the screen in a blurry mess before grabbing his opponent, who has no chance of blocking this move, just then the screen turns black and you lose most of your health, or you would if you hadn't already switched off the console and walked away.)
Dead Island
Dead island is a great concept for a game, to go as far to say it is a great game is a bit of a stretch, in fact, it is a big stretch. You hear about a game where you can fight unlimited zombie hoards with customisable weapons, in a pack of ruthless heroes determined to reveal the secrets of the island, and you think, what could possibly be better?!
How about being poked in the eye with a poo-y stick? That might be better
You know how frustrating it is when you are poised, silent, waiting, rolled up newspaper in hand for the dang blasted wasp to land and THWAP. you miss. THWAP, THWAP. miss, miss. SWING, miss, the smash of plate hitting the ground as you slam into the kitchen table in a state of dizzy frenzy, SWING, THWAP, SWING, SMASH, CRUNCH, as you step on piles of broken crockery. Finally you fall, broken, sweaty and defeated into the nearest chair, only to see the wretched insect fly into your jam sandwich. This is how it feels playing Dead Island. You miss so many times, the game mechanic is just so frustrating. You find yourself at your wits end and you dread every zombie encounter because it just, does not work.
Plus, one character is massively overpowered, the story is boring and the last chapter is a chore.
(Good luck (he said sarcastically))
(You are going to miss)
Minecraft
Dig. Dig. Dig. Dig. LAVA LAVA, oh no, lava, jump, no please, lava, lava, ahhhhh fire, please no, ah, no lava. Help Lava. Ahhh- no... DAMN GOSH DARN, WHAT THE- STUPID PIECE OF- *sigh* Well, enough Minecraft for today.
They say, 'never dig down' for a reason, but you will forget, and you will dig down and you will fall in lava (Lava: the vomit of Satan himself, made to kill you instantly just for existing). Let me tell you why falling in lava is such a big problem, if it isn't already obvious; you die. That isn't all however, the way Minecraft works, dear readers is that when one dies, you drop all your stuff, 'not a big problem!' I hear you cry, 'Just go and pick it up again!' Of course, how simple, I mean I do have a map, problem solved! However, another wonderful game mechanic that Minecraft employs is the use of melted rock, known as 'lava' and when a loose object, say, recently dropped from a dead player, comes into contact with lava, that said object is destroyed, immediately and irreparably. So as it may be dawning on the less versed in the ways of Minecraft, if you fall in lava, you die, if you die, you drop all of your stuff, if you drop all of your stuff in lava, it gets destroyed. Thus potential hours of mining, grinding, and farming are entirely wasted.
There is nothing more likely to make you quit a game and never come back if you lose all your progress in about 0 seconds.
The point I am trying to make is that, Minecraft is a great game, hey, it made my top 10! but it represents for me games with flawed mechanics that deter one from playing and it could be avoided so easily! Flawed game mechanics are frustrating and so that is why Minecraft is one of my rage inducing games.
Bye diamonds *cries*
(The in-game avatar of one of my favourite gamers, 'Toby Turner' AKA Tobuscus, drowning in Minecraft Lava, he knows my pain.)
COD
Yes, another one of my top ten games makes it to my rage list. Strange that.
The game is great, campaign, although on the most part, too short is normally great for a linear campaign, and the additional modes (arcade, spec ops, and of course my personal favourite zombies) are fantastic. The online play is record breaking, a leader in its field, action packed and electric, fast paced and, sort of varied. The only bad part really is EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD EVER I WISH THEY WOULD JUST DIE.
I get it that the game has engineered in some way my dislike of other players, I mean that is the point, kill other people, but did they have to make it so darn annoying! A quick aside here, this principle doesn't just apply solely to Call of Duty, it also applies to other online first and third player shooters such as Halo and Red Dead Redemption. Let us take for example the tactic, aptly named, 'noob-tubing', the practise of over-using the grenade launcher attachment on a gun. As far as I am aware, the tactic, if you can call it that, was born in Call of Duty 4, where the grenade launcher was very easily available to players. Why is it so annoying? Boom, your dead, respawn, boom: dead. Insta-kill everytime. 'Skilled' (ha) players can hit you from all the way across the map and there is no taking cover because they can just shoot the wall or the ground or wall near you and kill you in the blast radius. AHHHHHHH.
Maybe it is worth saying that in later games this ability has been 'nurfed' so to say, made less annoying, by making it less powerful and available to less players. But by no means is it the only annoying thing other players do. Here is a brief list:
- Noob-tubing (as explained above)
- Drop-shot-ing - The practise of falling to the floor at the first sign of an enemy to make your self harder to hit, simultaneously spraying an array of bullets all over afore mentioned enemy.
- Last stand - Thankfully a now deceased game mechanic, the ability to pull a pistol from between your butt cheeks just before the cold grip of death gets the better of you, in an attempt to finish off whoever, as gamers put it 'down-ed' you. Combine this ability with a chance of being revived by your team mates and it is seriously annoying.
- Martyrdom - Sounds noble. Isn't. It is holding a grenade, or in earlier games, automatically dropping a grenade and so when you die, the person who killed you, if they are any where near you, also dies. Stupid.
- Team Killing AKA Glory Killing - In some FPSs and in the hardcore modes of others there is the ability to kill your own team, and this means that if you think someone on your team is about to be victorious in some way, why not kill them and take the glory for yourself? Because that woul make you an enormous ass-face! That is why.
In closing, let me make one thing clear, it isn't just new, and it isn't just experienced players that use these tactics, it is everyone. And if you see this list and think you don't do any of these things, you probably do something equally annoying maybe not all the time, and maybe, not even on purpose, but you do, and I hate you, just as I am sure, you hate me in equal measure... Noob.
(Why COD:4, why?)
Mirrors edge
Last, but by no means least, Mirrors edge, like the iconic scene in 'ALIEN' I can feel the perfectionist inside me trying to burst out and explain why it is oh so, so, so important to shave another second off that speed run, but no rational person can explain it, the desperate need for improvement, striving for perfection, to be the best, the fastest and get that fabled flawless run.
But, 'WHY IS THERE A LEDGE THERE! Oh for goodness sake, now I have to start again, AGAIN. Okay, one more run... WHY IS IT LOADING SO SLOWLY... okay here we go, and run, run, run, jump-slide, run, good-good, run jump ju- I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT UGH. Right, restart. Just one more... [Two minutes later] okay, one more... [Ten seconds later] one last try... [Three minutes and forty-six seconds later] Did I beat it! Did I, did I... NO! Damn it! Okay, one more try.' And it continues, until your fingers are numb, your eyes are square and the Xbox starts melting itself after being on for five consecutive hours.
Mirrors edge is (yet again) one of my all-time favourite games, but the biggest enemy in it is yourself. You cannot forgive yourself for the tiniest screw up, the smallest hiccup, the most minuscule mistake. You must do better, and when you can't, you get enraged, even more so when one of your friends does it faster than you on their first try. I must be perfect. The game is so beautiful, so smooth, so immaculate, one feels they must reflect the same grace in their performance on every track, every section, every slight movement, when you don't it simply isn't good enough. Do better.
(Jump)
(Slide)
(Vault, don't screw up now.)
So in closing I say, don't be a sore loser, don't break your friends consoles, or faces for that matter, try and take every defeat as a small improvement, and remember, its only a game.
Androsaur.
